Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Randomize
