I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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