ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
