yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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