Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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