i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
