just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
