Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
