do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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