Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
