I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
now i know why i became what i already was.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
