Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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