Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
