The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
honey bunches of taint.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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