what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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