If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
be right there i have to get my cape
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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