Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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