Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
