That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
