singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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