It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
