he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
