Tell her she can't have a vagina
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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