I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
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He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
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Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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