I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
