"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
