i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
