When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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