This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
zippers are such a cool invention
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize