dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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