she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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