I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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