I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
