think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
