ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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