Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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