No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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