There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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