Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
