2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
