I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
