just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
