I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you still have your period?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Randomize
