Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
