I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
