Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
