i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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