So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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