i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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