dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
