She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
