NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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