i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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