You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
