you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
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You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
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Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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