My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
