Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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