i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I know her cup size but not her name....
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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