did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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