I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
