I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
