We won't sleep together?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
