In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
