Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
