end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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