I heard we made out
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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