I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
